Why do I even bother? Every time Adam Sandler releases a new comedy under the Happy Madison production company, I always think something will change. Maybe this time Sandler will be funny, his comedy will have improved, the acting will be decent, he won’t make a fart joke every five seconds, etc. Hubie Halloween is his newest film, and it is more of the same garbage Sandler has produced for the last ten to fifteen years. His slapstick protagonist, Hubie, has a ridiculous and annoying accent that reflects his accents in films like Sandy Wexler, Little Nicky and many of his other misfires. Every time Sandler appeared on-screen I died a little inside. None of his jokes land except for one or two running jokes, and almost every scene in the entire film is insufferable. The plot is forgettable at best and infuriating at worst; the film treats all of its female characters as objects for the men to fall in love with; the large and talented cast (Maya Rudolph, Steve Buscemi, Ray Liotta, Ben Stiller, Shaq and more) is completely wasted. I could go on, but this movie isn’t worth the analysis.
Can we please stop? Trying to sit through this movie was more painful than both times I broke my arm in middle school. At this point it seems like Sandler is purposely making the worst product he possibly can. He has learned from none of the mistakes he makes in films like Jack and Jill and That’s My Boy — he is still just making the same movie and generating a profit off the laziness. Hubie Halloween isn’t as terrible as his absolute worst films, but it is still difficult to sit through this train wreck.
Don’t watch Hubie Halloween. I wouldn’t wish this movie on my rivals. There are thousands of great movies on Netflix; sitting through this film means you must hate yourself, which I clearly do. Life is too short for you to watch Hubie Halloween. Do something useful with the time you’ve been given on Earth.
I give Hubie Halloween a D-.